UNREALIZED LOVE

“You don’t value sunshine until you are in rain. When you realize, it’s too late for an umbrella”, a lesson learned back in the mid-90s. Back then, I saw a beautiful girl when she was coming back from her school to home, who coincidently came to be my neighbor. I plan and managed to meet and greet her on the way when she was returning from school, making it look like coincident to meet her. But, I couldn’t talk her for few weeks even after making our regular meet as fate. Finally, one day I gathered all my courage to plan, meet and greet her. I said we were neighbor and so wanted to be connected with her, but I didn’t ask her home phone number. I wanted to build friendship with her so anyhow I managed to get her home phone through other community friends.

I started talking to her on the phone with a fake identity as she was my good neighbor and I didn’t want to break the relationship that I already had as neighbor. We used to talk properly whenever we met on the road as a Neighbor, but on the phone I was totally a different person with a different voice so she calls me as Mr. Mysterious. This dual personality of communication went on for almost a month on a regular basis. Whenever I was on phone I was Mr. Mysterious and whenever I meet her on roads I was Mr. Rajan. During these period of communication, she became too close to Mr. Mysterious due to daily communication and the regular meeting, which was only by chance or unplanned meet, with Mr. Neighbor got abated.

After a couple of months, I realized that I had to be honest and disclose all the truth and secret with her, as by now, Mr. Mysterious was already a good friend. So one fine Saturday when we had our community meeting for some social cause, I said I have to share some personal thoughts after the meeting. She agreed and we sat in a park nearby our community and started talking about the conclusion made by seniors / parents in the community meeting. After the community discussion was over, I told her that I was Mr. Mysterious and I pretended to be someone different so that I could become her friend from the first day I saw her when she was returning from school. To my surprise, she told me that she had guessed it already after almost 2 weeks of talking over the phone. She noticed the change in my behavior as Neighbor when we used to meet on our community meetings and road – sometimes. I was then so relieved to hear and was happy too.

Afterward, we became much closer friends than before. We even started meeting physically in a community park or public library for sharing academic notes because she was studying in the same class as I was, but in a different school. We often have phone calls for hours and hours on alternate days. But, neither she nor I had ever thought our relations so seriously as straight to the heart for the matter of love. We were just more than good friends and yes I might have at some point felt a bit of infatuation.

The year passed by and we were even having a greater bond, great learning as we both were from different schools and sharing our notes. But after completing our SLC (so called SEE, nowadays) in early 20s, I joined a college where hostel was mandatory and she went to a different college with different faculty. Since, I was allowed to make call to my friends and family only once a week, the strong bond that I had built during those years, got weak due to less communication. The phone call was unidirectional (I calling her only) since it was like a public phone booth installed inside our campus where I can make call by inserting coins. But in order to keep our cohesion continue, I try to call at least once a week and talk for almost 2-5 minute and even meet her whenever I go to home. The routine of calling on weekly changed to fortnightly and then to monthly with the changing time due to college exams and academic pressure.

One Saturday, after completing my exam, when I called her landline number (home phone number), the number was not reachable and could not connect. I tried multiple times but all was pointless. Later when I came to my home from the hostel, I knew that she had to abruptly migrate to other place with her parents. After a few months, I also need to move to some different place with my family to pursue my higher education. Neither she had my changed number nor did I have hers. Since then I haven’t met her or heard from her. After this breakage of communication link I felt something that I have never felt before, so I asked myself: “AM I IN LOVE”. Then only I realized it was not just infatuation in the mid-90s, it was much more than that.

I missed her.

Takeaways:

  1. Come out of comfort zone (gathered gut to talk)
  2. Consistent Effort (daily call) can achieve goal (being good friend)
  3. Sometime you need to look for alternative solution (Mr. Mysterious) to achieve goal (good friend)
  4. One way communication may not be effective for better relationship (phone call from hostel, even though there was no other option)
  5. Continuous Communication is required for maintaining proper relationship (no call, no relationship)

 

 

=============== ORIGINAL COMPENDIOUS SCRIPT  ========================

“You don’t value sunshine until you are in rain. When you realize, it’s too late for an umbrella” this is what I’ve realized after going through the experience of my own. Once, I met a beautiful girl and I wanted to be her friend. I started talking to her on the phone with fake identity. I lied to her. As she was my neighbor we used to talk properly whenever we meet on the way. This process continued for couple of months. I kept calling her, and on meeting we talked as we were only neighbors. Only I knew I was acting two roles: as a Phone Friend and a neighbor. We were being very good friends.

Later, I realized that I had to be honest with her. So I told her every single truth; from the day of our first meeting. To my surprise, she told me that she had guessed it was me. I was so relieved to hear that. We became much closer than before. We started meeting each other more than we used to do. We called each other on alternate days and talked for hours. But, neither she nor I had taken our relationship seriously straight to the heart for the matter of love. We were just more than good friends. There was a bit of attraction but I mistook it for infatuation.

One day, she had to migrate with her parents to some other place. Neither she had my changed number nor did I have hers. So our communication gap increased to a great deal. Till date I haven’t met her or heard from her. And now she’s gone I am feeling something that I have never felt before: “I think I AM IN LOVE. Now, I’ve realized it wasn’t just infatuation it was much more than that. I truly miss her. I hope she could return back and contact me so that we can give our friendship a new meaning.

Original Composed Date: 13th January, 2006

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